If Only, Dad
by Rich Ingram
I look back on our relationship that had no meaning
with the insight and experience only time can offer.
I now see the distant past of my life
in a focus never before more clear.
When the time came when we knew we must say goodbye,
we sat in silence and pain was left unfelt.
Now that you’re gone I wish you had given me
the gift of touch and emotion,
for I know that your touch would have made my life
strong and abundant,
and I know to share my touch with you
would have made your death worth living.
The lessons of life you could never give me,
to touch and to feel true pain,
I have learned now to cry and to laugh and to love
from the wisdom and passion of strangers.
If we could go back in time to that day
when everything went unspoken,
I would hold your failing body in my arms
and with tears and words tell you I love you.
Rich Ingram is a Registered Massage Therapist in private practice in Vancouver
I told my dad, while on his bed, assuming he did sleep,
In hospital, – [he'd not come home], with tears, my eyes did weep,
“I love you dad” then hugged him tight, and feebly he replied
“I love you too son” that’s one thing I’ve cherished, since he died.
With forty years age difference, while young, we were not close,
He wasn’t very tactile and neither he verbose.
Though as we aged, more fond became, by working, showed his love,
Anon we’ll meet, know not the ‘when’, the ‘where’? – in Heaven above.
I told my dad, while on his bed, assuming he did sleep,
In hospital, [he'd not come home] with tears my eyes did weep,
“I love you dad” and hugged him tight, while feebly he replied
“I love you too son” THAT’S the thing I cherish, since he died.
With forty years age difference, while young, we were not close.
He was not very tactile and nor was he verbose,
But as we aged we did grow close, in ways he’d show his love,
We’ll meet again, don’t know the ‘when’, – the ‘where’? – in Heaven above.
Colin,
Thank you for sharing that . It brought back so many memories of things I wish I had said to my Dad- but I didn’t. As you so eloquently put it, Dad was neither tactile nor verbose and I
didn’t know how to express my affection for him. I’m so glad you did that before it was too late. When I read that last line, I couldn’t hold back the tears. Thank You!
Joe